How You Can Support Your Partner Through The Postpartum Period

The arrival of a new baby is a joyous occasion and it also marks the beginning of the postpartum period, a time of immense change and adjustment for new mothers and birthing parents. While the focus often naturally shifts to making sure the newborn baby is OK, the partner's role in providing support is crucial for the new mother's physical and emotional wellbeing.

Understanding Postpartum

The postpartum period, sometimes referred to as the "fourth trimester”, can bring a range of physical and emotional changes as your partner transitions to mother/parent known as matrescence. Just like adolescence refers to the transition from teenager to adult, matrescence recognises the life-changing transition from pre to post-birth. They can experience loss of identity, question your relationships, values and beliefs.

Practical ways you can help

Prioritise rest and recovery: Your partner has just gone through a huge physical experience in giving birth. They need time to rest and recover, but might feel pressured to be ‘up and about’ soon after birth. There are ways in which you can support them to take things slowly. A super simple thing is to make sure that food, snacks and drinks are easily accessible for your partner to support their energy and recovery. Fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds are a good source of nutrients to support their recovery. We have a blog post about postpartum meals, which might give you some inspo!

Take care of things: You can do everyday tasks like food shopping, cooking, housework, and laundry. If this isn’t your usual responsibilities, make sure to chat about this with your partner so you know how things are usually done (or risk it and go rogue!)

Manage visitors: We know that people love to pop by and see the new baby and check in on you all. It can be overwhelming for you all, though, and so you can support your little family by making sure that your time together isn’t spent ‘hosting’ visitors all the time. Manage who is coming over and when, so that you have as much time together as possible. 

Being there for them emotionally

Life after birth can be really overwhelming at times. In an instant everything has changed and you are both grappling with new experiences, feelings and skills (feeding, burping etc.) 

Be compassionate with one another and try to understand that you’re both learning things for the first time. Your partner will have added physical changes happening as they continue to bleed for weeks afterwards (known as lochia) and if they’re breastfeeding their body will be working hard to make milk. They also have huge postpartum hormone changes too, which can make them feel all at sea.

You can listen to them, validate how they feel and ask them what would make them feel good about themselves, or what would make something better.

Make a postpartum plan

Consider creating a postpartum wellness plan during pregnancy, similar to a birth plan. This can outline preferences for physical, emotional, and social health during the postpartum period, including support for sleep, nutrition, and managing anticipated tasks and where to sign post if you need extra support. 

You can download a postnatal here:

By understanding the challenges and actively participating in these ways, partners can provide essential support, fostering a healthier and happier postpartum experience for the entire family.

There is help for you too

If you’re struggling with life after birth, there are some great organisations out there who can support you. 

PANDAS Foundation: Great resources for birthing people and their partners
https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/what-is-pnd/dads-mental-health/ 

Andys Man Club
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ 

Tommys
https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/dads-and-partners/looking-after-your-mental-health-after-baby-born